Date Night

My husband and I have a weekly date night.  We've been doing this for years.  We started this because the day-to-day business of being parents was wearing us out.  Though we love our children more than life itself, there is more to our lives than our children.  Unfortunately, there didn't seem to be enough time in the day (or enough red bull energy drinks in the world) that allowed us to be "just us"....the way we were before we became parents. So, we decided we needed a weekly date night to allow us to do just that....reconnect on a personal level.

We have set aside the same day each week for our date nights.  We do our best (and have been mostly successful) to make sure everything else (meetings, kids' extra curriculars, etc) happen around this date night.  To my surprise, my husband's work peers have been baffled by this idea of date night....including the married ones!

Really?  Is this really a foreign concept?  Well, dear reader, if it is a foreign concept to you as well, allow me to explain its significance.  I am a product of a divorce.  I do not have a memory of my parents going out together, just the two of them.  I had babysitters, but that was so both of my parents could work at night.  Looking back, I realize that my parents most likely never made time together.  I realize that they both worked hard to make sure our needs were met.  However, the most important need any child has is for their mother and father to have a strong marriage....to keep the family unit (ie the child's support system) together.  My father didn't seem interested in my mother's interests (I don't know if he even knew what her interests were) or vice versa.  They were not friends and that's one big reason, in my opinion, they divorced.

Divorce is not an option for me.  It's not that I'm necessarily against divorce.  I understand and have witnessed situations where divorce is the only option because of abuse.  This is not what I'm talking about.  Divorce due to growing apart is what I'm against.  I have told myself long ago that I was going to do my best to make sure my children did not have to endure what I endured with my parents' divorce.  Those who say the kids aren't affected by divorce are wrong.  They are affected.  I just decided that I would turn what was an awful experience into a learning experience in an effort to have a strong marriage and family.  So, when my husband and I started having children and feeling ourselves meeting every need of our children and not our own, we instituted date nights.

You don't have to spend money for date nights.  You can put the children to bed early at night and watch a movie or tv show together.  You can give your children an early supper, put them to bed and make a nice meal for just the two of you to enjoy.  The important thing here is to reconnect.  Keep in touch with the person you married.  He/She is growing and changing (everyone does) and just like you don't want to miss out on that with your children, you also don't want to miss out on that with your spouse.  Take an interest in what he/she does.  Ask about it.  You don't want to get to your "empty nest" years and realize you have no idea who the person you've lived with for so long is anymore. 

The best gift you can give your children is a strong marriage.  It's the foundation of the family.  With a strong foundation, anything built upon it will be able to weather any storms of life.